I also don’t mind that it sometimes takes a few months to hear back from a publisher – that space from my story often makes it easier for me to find the gaps (or the strengths) when I go back to it after a response from a publisher.

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I used to be terrified of rejections. I would start sending out queries, then after like the third one I would tell myself something is wrong with the book. So, I’d stop querying and go back to the book, which was a safer place for me to be.

I’m not sure how I made that leap over the fire, but now I’ve returned to querying and stopped messing around with my book.

I think you are “oh so right” about what a rejection really means. This is why I get a little miffed at people who get rejected, don’t bother to ask themselves “why,” blame the agents and the process, and go self-publish wthout seriously rethinking their ms. For the most part, these are the “authors” who simply weren’t ready in the first place, and that is why they got rejected.

We can’t forget that in most cases (sure some slip through) publishers and agents know what they’re doing and will snap up a good ms when they see it. One round of rejections isn’t enough to say “oh well, I’ll just self-publish and show them!”

And that’s something to be proud of.